This is one of the more hardest letters I've had to write. I've written it many times and destroyed it. You've been a large part of my life. I written it without the sadness and then tried writing it without seeing you in as a part of my life. Either way it never works, the letter gets destroyed. Without you, without seeing you as a part of my life and good friend is sadness, its grief and loss. I look to what I am thankful for, I see just the friendship. I begin to become protective of friendship and the integrity of how the words flow when it fits. Most times you become selfish and a good friend becomes silent, you listen all night, and talk with ease. Stand alone, this should not be openly stated, keep it to yourself. Again the letter is destroyed. Be thankful for the gift of having the friend in your life. I feel numb, sickened by your absence from my view. My heart aches for a hug from your words of thoughtfulness. This is a friendship that grew from two strangers crossing paths and taking a chance. Opinions set aside, differences between us, but always having a friendship that stood the testimony of integrity. Stay silent, watch your life unfold and choices that not involve me, be made. Pick up that pieces of your friend and stand by them, that's what a true friendship can be. Listen and not judge, embrace and not smother, hold and let freedom with the friendship. These are deep thoughts, most do not give energy to cover these in their mind. Most will let another day just come and go, and say those magic words, "let it go". But, we all need a friend like this, who looks off into the stars at night while you sleep soundly, they walk around still thinking. One that sees every leaf fall from a tree and the smallest gust of wind blow, they watch ripples in the pond from a pebble they threw. When small secrets, became small lies, that when the friendship grew apart. When you look to avoid talking to that friend, because you know that friend knows you better than the new one next to you. The new one that reveres you and treats as a gift, new ideas are there, new opinions are exchanged. Exciting and new opened like a surprise birthday present or like a taste you have for the first time. That's when this letter got destroyed, the friendship became distant. We all grow apart, there are few friends that grow closer in time. There are tears that fall from my face, to my chest and hit my heart. I cry these tears of grief for losing my friend. You hang on tighter, but being silent, letter destroyed. But, being who you are, hugging yourself, the one alone without your friend. Should you of stated what was in your heart. No. Some of us are meant to be alone, losing the love, that closeness of that friend and others are meant to be free. I wanted in my heart to be that one by your side, but you chose someone else. Silent, its the proverbial elephant in the room we never talk about, letter destroyed. Your the piece that fits.
The energy of keeping the integrity intact was heartbreaking, I grew tired, I saw the cracks, letter destroyed again.
True friendships stand the test of time. They are rare, they are a gift, they are chances you take when you listen with your eyes and grow together. Friendship letter destroyed.
These letters that I write are true, I have written them many times to so many. I have sat in silence and given a small part of myself to many. Waited patiently for the special friend to stand by me and stay with me.
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