I think I need to start this bluntly and honestly. The words and talk of people today is head shaking. Did you not go to school, did you read a book at one time in your life, a dictionary maybe once. I have heard the phrase to many times, I have "so much shit going on" or "this is f.... up". These conversations go nowhere when I'm listening to people. Express your emotions, tell me what that means, how is that f....d up, what is shit messed up. You have so many words in your brain use them, I have sat with young people who want some of my time and they are attached to their phone. They will google anything, watch the strangest videos, send out selfies for self image improvement. The profanity is where I am lost, I swear, I get it, but express your emotions, its the fuel to make you explode. Can’t you see that the people around you are only laughing at your use of the language. You need to understand they are only fueling you to get more drunk and angry, to say more f....d up shit. Once that laughter dies, your still hurting, you step into another level of that you cant describe. That's f....d up. Yeah it is, you didn't express, you saying something negative, being kinder to yourself when talking about your situation. Talk slowly with your words, take a breath and search for the right words, they are in your head, your smart, give yourself some credit. You have done nothing by distorted the facts by the people around you, they have fueled your fire of going a path of negativity. Everybody go through some shit, we all have, that's life. We all have bumps in the road, that’s the phrase, its how we recover, some people stay down in muck and mire in it like pig. I'm just being honest here. They stay there and keep shouting from the rooftop and ending pushing everyone away. The anger ensues, your alone and stills screaming, yelling this is f....d up. No one hears you because its not funny anymore. What's next, drinking, drugs to find some numbing effect to make it go away. Been there done that one. Its fun to have a party and get drunk and have a audience and bitch again about your life. But when you wake late, probably late for work, which you bitched about the night before in your drunken state. Your still in the same place, alone avoiding the hurt you cant express because this shit is f....d up. You chose this, are you addicted to dodge the hard question, talking about what is at the core of your problem. Use some words, your an intelligent human being, believe it, surround yourself with positive reinforcement. Start with yourself and what comes out of your mouth. This shit is not f...d up. Its life, its got failure and road blocks, its not easy. I looked at life with so many traumas and gave up many times and stared at how can I leave this life. But that's not the answer, tomorrow I meet someone that might have an answer I didn't have. Talk it out, I learned that the hard way, being silent, drinking, drugs, audience of one. Look around, so many others and some of your friends have been through more and think your shit isn’t important or impossible. That hurts because you think differently because your telling the whole story, your lying about what really hurts. The night is my friend and I like my own answers, I cant hear you, because life is too hard. It is, words are your friends, communicate, find that person, look, listen to others, time is your friend.
I'm here right in front of you lets talk, my life is full of wisdom, I can share some decisions I made and help you down your path. But, I need to understand the emotion inside your head and heart, the people involved that it will help or hurt.
Somedays conversations are better than others, its the people you talk with, not at or to. I have had the priviledge to engage in listening effectively to the words of knowledgeable communicators. Their words hold my interest, take my mind to within the world they talking. I feel the emotion through their words, when spoken from the heart. I know when the passion is missing, they repeat and search for words that are uncomfortable. They stumble with the sentence, its hard to follow the feeling of story. The beginning doesn't bring me in, the path I do not walk to with them, the ending I don't feel I don't want be sitting with them. I want walk away. Not wanting to be rude, abrupt or impatient with the individual, the story has no flow. Its forced, as if rehearsed. The heart is gone, not felt, unemotional, very detached from the others. I heard a faith stories from people who preach and its not defined, its a defiinition of, or a recital of the bible verses. They dont believe what they are saying, they are preaching to me. They have an opinion and want a audience of one. Themselves. They just like hearing themselves talk.
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